Sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don’t but through it all the goofiness that results makes for good conversation.
I had a conversation the other day with a dear old friend and let me preface this by saying it wasn’t my friend Pat. I don’t want, or need any problems there. Anyways this lady and I talked about the usual things like kids, family and dogs. Now this dear old lady lives a rather secluded life style so there is not much sense in talking current events because even though her television is on most of the time, it’s froze on the “Hallmark Channel.” I asked her if she had heard about the Duck Boat tragedy down in Branson and she said “no. Tell me about it.” After I had explained what happened she said, “Oh my goodness. How sad.” My husband had a duck boat but luckily it only held two people.
So I switched to some other current events that she knew nothing about and finally, being factitious and not knowing where to go with the conversation, on a whim I asked her if she had heard about Pearl Harbor. “Oh my goodness” she exclaimed, “Did they do that again?” “No,” I said. “Just kidding.” “I thought we took their guns away after the war,” she said. “We did,” I replied. “But they all joined the N.R. A. so we had to give them back.” “Who’s the N.R.A.” she asked. “Nobody you would know I said.” “What’s on Hallmark tonight,” I asked? You gotta love her.
So the before mentioned Pat, my constant companion and I, are having an afternoon conversation the other day when we get off on the subject of Narcolepsy. Now she’s a nurse so she knows a lot of stuff that I don’t know about medical problems so it’s hard to B.S. her, but she says she thinks I may have the sleeping disease because from time to time I tend to close my eyes, either to meditate or check my eyelids for cracks. She thinks this is weird, so hence, the Narcolepsy diagnoses. I have to be careful now with how I explain this, or no more baked goodies for me but I have this friend who is a retired doctor, so one day I asked him about it and he said. “Do you do this around other people too, or just around her, because if it’s just around her, its not narcolepsy.” And now I’m in trouble. But what can I do, I got a column to get out. I could go steal her newspaper next week but she has too many friends in the area who would talk with her so that’s probably not a good idea and I would rather have her upset with me then the F.B.I. If you see me wearing an ankle bracelet you will know what happened. By the way, to all of my church friends, who may or may not have witnessed me nodding off in church, it could be narcolepsy—maybe-- so a little sympathy please.
And now the humble pie. My companion-- as much as I joke about her-- has given me a new lease on life. There are so many trips and ventures I would have never undertaken without her being with me. Life was once good and then it became a struggle but now it is good again so I tip my hat my friend, to what you have done for me and become to me. But having said that its been a long time since I had a rhubarb pie. Sorry Pat the devil made me say that last sentence.