DRINKING RESPONSIBLY

                                                

I use Facebook to socialize with my friends and family, and for the most part, it’s good. Oh, once in a while someone will get on a rant and say things they shouldn’t, and use bad language because that makes them appear tough to talk that way. But all the good things that get said seem to far outnumber the trash. Yesterday though, someone posted a YouTube video about crazy drunk moments. Now I’m not a prude, and I do drink socially, but I don’t get drunk because I’ve seen too many sad things that happen with the abuse of alcohol. Puking on your shoes wasn’t one of them. So, here are some of my not-so-funny drunk moments.

As firefighters, we were called to a personal injury accident one dark night. It seemed an intoxicated man, who was driving home from one of the local watering holes, had crossed the centerline at a high rate of speed, and hit a family of four, head on. All were wearing their seatbelts, but the force of the collision pushed the light truck’s engine into the passenger compartment, killing both parents. In the back seat in their car seats were two young children, now orphans, crying and asking for their now dead mother. That was just one of the numerous accidents that I went to where drinking was the cause. There were others just as sad, and some sadder, and the ironic thing was, even though you didn’t want anyone hurt or killed, the drunks usually weren’t the ones who got hurt or killed.

In my own family, out of seven siblings there are three I would classify as alcoholics. One of them drank himself almost to death. By the grace of God, he has quit and is recovering. Out of the grandkids, several of them have serious drinking problems. All of this from a set of founding parents who didn’t drink. What lies ahead for most of them? More not-so-funny drunken moments or personal tragedies. Times are tough right now, and if you talk to any of the drinkers, they will tell you that. But, somehow, there is always money for the booze or beer. My dad always said, “If you want to go in business, make sure it’s one people find essential,” and he said, “Liquor stores are right at the top of the list.” I see all of the trucks and cars parked outside of the local watering holes, and I know there are a lot of people in there being responsible, and having fun, and that’s not what this is about. But there are also some in there who send their wives to the food shelf, and then let them sit home on Friday night with the kids, while they drink. More not-so-funny drunk moments.

We have banned smoking everywhere but in your own biffy. We have a war on drugs. It hasn’t done any good—but we have one. But drinking seems to be something that’s here to stay. We tried prohibition once, and it didn’t work.

The movies and television glorify it; even the University of Minnesota if you can’t stand the team, lets you get pickled, at the football games. The town of Crosslake, where I live, has more liquor stores than any other kind of business, so there is no sense in getting on a soapbox about that. All I am asking is this—that we be responsible. By that I mean, don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink if you are having money problems. Don’t drink if you get mean or abuse your family. You can have fun without drinking. I do. There really are no funny drunk moments.

WHO'S LYING NOW?

                                              

I don’t like to write about politics but just this once I have to say my piece. So here is my problem. I have listened to both of the presidential candidates. They have both accused the other of not telling the truth. To put that in plain language they have both called each other liars, without saying the word liar. But if it quacks like a duck? You know what I mean; somebody’s pants are on fire.  So if they are both lying than am I forced to vote for a liar? Not a good choice.

Romney says Obama care will cost a trillion dollars. So Mr. president prove him wrong. Don’t just say that’s not true. Get a white board and show me the proof. The President says Romney’s tax cuts don’t add up. So Governor show us the proof. Don’t just say they do add up. Why don’t you just both say what you are going to do and let’s let a third unbiased party—if there is such a thing---prove you right or wrong. I need to clarify things here by saying, “if there is such a thing.” Yes that’s what it’s coming to; we don’t believe anybody anymore when it comes to politics. So sad. The president says its been hard to get anything done with a do nothing congress. If you get elected Governor and you get a do nothing congress-- and the odds are pretty good you will -- how would you handle that? I have never heard you say, I will do all of these things I am proposing, if congress lets me. How are you going to take down those legislative roadblocks and specifics please? This isn’t a dictatorship. Yet.

I am baffled that when the votes are counted in congress its always along party lines. Somehow, somewhere, there must have been a good idea somewhere across the aisle. Senators and Representatives, do your party ties preclude you from seeing anything good by the other party? Whom do you represent, the party or the voters? Do you think it would work better if no one had any party ties and we had to judge you on your record and not support you because of your party endorsements? Third parties have tried to be in the race but you’re both against third parties. Why is that? I would think it would help you immensely in congress to not have peer pressure from party affiliates.

This is a young country by world standards and it’s going to be a short-lived country if we don’t get back to some honesty and genuine concern about the good of the people and not the good of political parties. It’s hard I know, to be in a country this diverse and please everyone and maybe that’s where you’re confused. You’re not in congress to please everyone; you are there to please the majority. You are there to say NO once in a while. To leave this nation in better shape when you leave, then it was when you went in. You have by your own admission called yourselves a do nothing bunch of legislators. Erase those lines in the sand and maybe, just maybe, we will believe you again and give you back some credibility and you can quit calling each other liars every time there is a campaign. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.

THOSE FALLING LEAVES

                                               

Today as I write, it’s a beautiful Indian summer day and a few lonely oak leaves float lazily down from their lofty perches, and settle into the many puddles of leaves that are starting to dot my lawn. For me, they are reminiscent of many things in my own life, but none so strong as the fact that they are in their death spiral; their job is done, and now they rest. For the summer months they were vibrant, full of green color, and part of a vast family of leaves that formed the canopies of the trees that shaded my house and rustled quietly in the summer breezes. They had a  purpose—a place in nature, and a job to do—but now they are relegated to shriveling up and returning to the very earth they came from, their life cycle complete.

Our own lives are somewhat the same, but much more complex, because even when we are gone our accomplishments will live on, and hopefully, we won’t go to our end in someone’s mulch pile. We have this uncanny persona to influence other people who will, in turn, emulate our character, and hopefully, enrich this world and make it a better place. Each year the tree starts with new buds, void of any kind of personality, and they only do what their predecessors have done over and over again, until at last the tree dies and they with it. Each leaf is its own entity and has no dependence on the others. But in our lives, we build on the accomplishments of those who have gone before us, and those who surround us. We don’t have to start from square one, when we begin, because someone else has already done the work for us and left those indelible imprints in our minds and hearts.

All the leaves of the trees perform pretty much the same chore for their host, the tree. But our lives are so different , and a cornucopia of different talents, abilities and aspirations, and when we blend them together with others we have this homogenous result, forming a more perfect union for all of us. I often think, “what would my life have been like without my parents’ influence and their effect on my development…without my beloved wife, who steered me in the right direction and propped me up when I was falling, and then gave me wings to go places I never dreamed of going.” I didn’t want to be like a leaf; I wanted to have some sort of legacy when my life was done, and with her help and the help of others, it has come to fruition, but history will be my judge, not I.

Sometimes at night, when I miss her the most, I think of the words of Nat King Cole who sang so beautifully, “And now the purple dusk of twilight time, steals across the meadows of my heart. High up in the sky the little stars climb, always reminding me that we’re apart.” Music has always been my crutch. I have always felt that it’s such a shame that too many of us die with most of our music still inside of us. “Though I dream in vain. In my heart it will remain. My stardust melody of love’s refrain.”  When I think of her I don’t want to cry because it’s over; I want to smile because it happened.

Wow! To think. All of that came from a few leaves drifting by my window. Life is good in Mike’s meandering mind.

 

DOES "NO" Mean"NO" ANYMORE?

                                               

If there is one word in our vocabulary that we seem not to understand, it is the word “no.” This two letter, one syllable word, is the most abused word we use. It has been replaced all too often by “but” and “maybe” or “why not.” It’s lost most of its meaning and its authority. Why? Because, for many people, they refuse to have someone else tell them they cannot do something they want to do. I was once told that, “rules without consequences are just mere advice.” The word, “no,’ when used emphatically, should have consequences that uphold its meaning. In many cases it does, but in most cases, it’s ignored.

I do it myself. The speed limit on most highways is 55, but I set my cruise on 62. Why? Because in most cases, you will get away with it. I once drove 55 from Brainerd to Foley on Highway 25. Every car behind me passed me. I was more of a hazard on that curvy road than a law-abiding citizen. Maybe they should say the suggested speed limit is 55. Watch people at stop signs and right turns. “Stop” means to them, if the coast is clear, just slow down a little. Maybe the signs should say “stop if you have to.” Who’s got time to stop, anyway? To some people, “no littering” means “don’t thrown stuff out your window when the cops are around.”

I have a new dog, and the first word I taught her is “No.” I taught her this word because I knew she would be doing lots of things she shouldn’t be doing. I gave her consequences, and for the most part, she does stop what she is doing. Will she do it again? Yes, she’s a dog, not a Rhodes Scholar. But, eventually, she won’t if I stick to my guns. It works with kids, too. I know—I raised three of them. The word has to be used seriously—no mixed messages. When your girlfriend says “no,” and then giggles, what does that mean? It sure isn’t “no.” When I tell my dog “no” when she gets on the couch, and then smile when I find her sleeping there so cute a short time later and do nothing, I’ve lost the battle and my “no” means nothing.

When I grew up, my father was a disciplinarian. His “no” meant “no.” If you tested him, you would lose. As I became older there were fewer and fewer “no’s.” Had he changed? No, he was just letting me take the lead for a change. He had put out the lesson plan a long time ago. He was tired of being the judge and jury, and now it was time for me to either take his lead, or learn my own lessons, sometimes the hard way. When I was small, I didn’t always understand what he was talking about. I did it out of love and respect for the man. My life plan today seriously mimics what he taught me. The world is a fast changing world with some of the social beliefs we encounter. For many of us, it’s hard to change our views and beliefs. Our rules in life come from a time when they were deeply rooted in our faith and traditions. We had a set of “no’s” we grew up with, and they worked for us, and for us to change, seriously wears at our moral fabric. I have another saying I remember. “Lead, follow or get out of the way.” Sometimes, to lead is very unpopular, but still necessary. To follow can be a compromise on what we believe in, but to get out of the way is also a hard choice, because it’s not that far from following when you think about it.

WHAT'S GOING TO BE LEFT FOR MARY

                                    

 What’s going to be left for Mary? That’s a question that haunts me as I look at the world around me, and all of the problems we have. ‘”Who’s Mary,” you say? She’s my six-year-old granddaughter, and she starts first grade this year. “Significant” you ask? Well, it is for me and Mary, and all of the other Marys’ and Marks’ who start first grade this year. They’re not worried about the same things we are right now.  They, in their innocence, have placed their trust in us and in all of the leaders of this country. They trust that we will take care of our land, and leave them something useful to build on and live in.

As time goes on, they’ll realize how badly we have betrayed their trust and instead of building on what we have done, they will have to rebuild on what we abused and destroyed through greed and misuse. It’s not just material things I am talking about. It’s our way of life. It’s what we have done to honesty and decency, and all in the name of what we felt was our freedom to do so. But it was actually greed, and an effort to make us feel good, with little regard for the generations to come. It will have to be rebuilt, because what we have now isn’t sustainable, and we know it.

I used to watch the potato farmers, back in Brooklyn Park, where we lived. Each year, after they harvested their crop, they replanted the fields with rye grass. An added expense for sure, because they just plowed it under in the spring. But if the snows didn’t come to cover their fields, they knew that the good topsoil would blow away and before long, the crops would suffer in years to come. They were always looking to next year, and for them, their land was sacred. I walk my dog down our little country road most days, and each day I find the road and ditches littered with trash. I, and other concerned people, pick it up but it keeps right on coming back. Every gas station and grocery has a trash refuse can, but these people who litter are too lazy and self-centered to use that route. I doubt they even think it’s wrong.

When I was a kid, no parent had to worry about what his or her kids were watching on television.  At the uptown theater, movies were shown that were made for families to enjoy. You could go outside and play without being accosted by some pervert. Police officers and teachers were respected. You learned the ABC’s in school and not about social issues that seem to dominate the news and are best discussed at home. Now, we worry about chemicals in our water and our soil. Mercury and lead, herbicides and pesticides. Invasive species, brought here by man, are ruining our lakes and rivers. Drugs are everywhere and our prisons are full. Everyone knows someone who has died of an overdose or fried his or her brains. Nothing is safe, even in your own home. Stupid, senseless wars, which accomplish nothing but kill people. Did I mention 16 trillion dollars in debt? I could go on but won’t.

I am so sorry, Mary. We have failed you, and every one of your classmates and first graders all over this land. I only hope you can rise above the mess we have made and turn this world back to what God intended it to be. That’s right, I said, “God.” Remember him? I doubt you will hear it in school.