FRIENDSHIPS

 FRIENDSHIPS

My friend and neighbor, Andrea, sent me a picture the other day that she found in her archives. It was a picture of our two old dogs, Gus and Honey who, like us, were good neighbors. For years they had played together, smelled so many scents, dug so many holes and thought of a world of mischievous things to do. Now, in this picture­­­ with their gray muzzles and arthritic hips, they sat serenely just looking out over the lake like two old matrons. Too tired to play games anymore, and just biding their time.

It was the very lake they had played and frolicked in so many times together. But now it was just the backdrop for a few moments of sitting serenely together. A priceless snapshot, of a moment in time, for sure. They died within a few weeks of each other a few years back. I am sure their lives were made richer by the friendship they enjoyed, the treats they shared, and the love they shared with both of us and each other. Maybe somewhere over that rainbow bridge they have found each other again, if you choose to believe in such a thing. I know Andrea and I do.

I have moved on, as I have had to do many times in my life when I have lost a faithful companion. It hasn’t always been dogs that I lost; sometimes it’s been more significant things, but always, the loss and the sentiments are there. Memories and pictures are such wonderful things to have. My mind is made up of millions of them, and like peeling an onion, I often go back, uncover them and play them over and over again. Yes, the tears come again, but so do the smiles as we find love that is in so many places in our lives. It would be a crying shame, no pun intended, if that shared love, and those fond memories, were left to die from neglect, buried with the objects of our affection.

I think it’s so wonderful, in human nature, that the bonds of love we possess are stretched out, not only to those we should love, meaning each other, but also to God’s creatures that are put here to be our companions. Josh Billing said, “A dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than they love themselves.” This world would be a far better place, for all of us, if we could find that same unconditional love for each other that dogs give to us. Dogs are many things to many people but they are not hypocrites like man can be. In my moments of sadness I have found it hard to remain sad when a seventy-five pound Labrador crawls into my lap to lick away my tears.

Instead of Gus and Honey in our lives now, for Andrea and me, it’s now Molly and Brutus. The curtain has been reopened and the stage has been reset. For sure they are different doggie personalities, but buddies just the same. Being old myself, I’m not sure who will cry over whose grave this time when the grim reaper comes again. Maybe for me that will be the easy way out, but I’m a realist, so I’ll leave that one to the powers that be. For now, I’m going to take my buddy for a walk or maybe she is taking me—either way, it works for both of us.

                                                                                                Love Mike & Molly

GLOBAL WARMING

Over the years I have been intrigued with the cause and effect of global warming. I have studied carbon footprint and the effects of co2 emissions caused by burning fossil fuels. I have watched with great interest as scientists explain in detail what effect this is going to have on mother earth. But just last week I was made aware of how cows, through their release of methane gas, are contributing to this problem.

As long as we like meat and dairy products, there is little we can do about this—we can’t teach these cows manners.

On my travels around the Untied States I have seen many oil well installations. At night, you can see the flares from these wells as they burn off excess gas that would otherwise be released into the atmosphere. This is the oil companies’ way of not causing harmful gases to pollute our atmosphere. In many cases, the gas is collected, sold, and transported through pipelines to heat our water, homes and to use for cooking. They, in effect, are killing two birds with one stone by extracting oil and capturing the by-products for domestic use. It is not feasible to capture all of it so they burn off the rest.

Back to the cows. I truly believe that necessity is the “mother of invention.” If these ruminants are polluting our earth something must be done about it. I love milk and steak too much to even suggest getting rid of them, but what if there was a way to get rid of the gas. So, I have come up with a methane valve that could be attached to the cow in the appropriate place. This valve would have a detector that would sense the gas and produce a spark that would burn off the gas. Now, to be realistic, I realize that fire in this area has the potential to burn the cow’s tail. So, I have designed a space age heat shield that would protect this appendage from damage. I also realize that from time to time the cow needs to eliminate solid waste so there would be a pressure sensitive spring that would allow the apparatus to swing to the side for this.

Now, being a little bit of a pessimist but more of a realist, and knowing how the American public likes to misuse products meant for other things—wives, this will be labeled for veterinarian use only. It will also be labeled for outdoor use only. We don’t need any barn fires.

I truly believe that the small amount of discomfort this could produce for the cows may teach them to have some manners, and much as we humans try to put a handle on our rude bodily functions, maybe they can control themselves better, too. I’m sure they don’t enjoy what they are doing, but do it out of necessity. I have never heard of a cow asking another cow to “Pull my hoof.” I also think that, on a dark summer night out in the pasture, well, do you remember when you were a kid and you saw the fireflies? It was kind of pretty wasn’t it?

I am not looking for a Noble Peace Prize here; I’m just trying to do my part for global warming. I am looking for investors. Serious inquiries only, to Bovine flatulence.com

THE NEW ME

                                                        

A while back, through the generosity of Pat’s Daughter and son-in-law, we were invited to come to the cities and they would take us to the Guthrie Theater. Now through most of my life I have been kind of a country bumpkin so I was never one to spend a lot of time with the arts. I called them artsy fartsy kinds of people and although that sounds disrespectful, I meant no disrespect. I, in my ignorance, knew nothing of the arts but also in my own stubborn way, ---didn’t care to know either.

For most of my married life, my wife was never that insistent that I expand my horizons and see how the better half lives. Coupled with that was her desire to never spend a lot of money on entertainment. Oh, we went to Disney world and took the grandkids to theme parks. She had coupons. But the trips were far and few between. The highlight of my entertainment life was when the neighbor guy scored two tickets to the 87 World Series and took me along. My wife did not like sports. She couldn’t figure out why they didn’t give all the players a football, so they all had one and would quit fighting over just one. I did see a Neal Diamond concert once with her, obscured somewhat by some pot smokers who were in front of us. At first I was furious about it but I gradually got the giggles and nearly was thrown out singing, “Sweet Caroline.” It won’t have been so bad but Neal was singing “Hello Again” at the time. I did go to a few football games in the Metro Dome with free tickets and my son-in-law. Thank the Good Lord for being born farsighted and not afraid of heights.

Then my life changed and along came Pat. Now she has never complained about my backwards ways but in the end she arranges the entertainment calendar and I always remember my father telling me one thing. “You want to get along-- shut your mouth and go along.” So I think somewhere in her diary she’s been writing that this guy could be a much better catch, if he had a little culture. What do you do if you buy a house and it’s the wrong color? You repaint it. My friends, I am here to tell you, I’m not just being repainted, I’m being remodeled. You got to give her credit, she didn’t have a lot to work with, and she does like football and you got to love that.

So in a few short years, since we have met, I have been to the Chalburg and Tornstrom’s Auditorium. The Franklyn Art Center many times and the Theater at Mystic Lake. I have eaten in the better places around the Brainerd area. I have gone to Rome and saw the sights. I have wiggled my toes in the beaches of Hawaii gone south for the winter and I have loved it. My bucket list has been rewritten and added too many times. I’m on a roll.

Speaking of Bucket Lists. Going to the Guthrie was never on it but now that I have been there and saw “Dickens Christmas Carol,” from center stage and three rows back. Well, I put it on the list during the intermission. Crossed it off when it was over and I’m waiting to go back. I’m feeling good about myself and looking forward to the next adventure my friend can come up with. Life is good.

DECEMBER 26TH

                                                          

It’s the morning after Christmas as I write this; sitting at my desk and gazing out the window. The snow, which started during the night, continues to drift down and it has bleached all of the color out of my little world and now there is only a photonegative resemblance of it in black and white. The wind lifts up little eddies of snow and they swirl around the trees and buildings, looking for someplace bare to settle on. A month ago, in fall, it was the leaves that were trying to cover everything but now fall belongs to the ages and winter is king. Unless someone moves the snow and ice it will be with us until spring. It’s a subtle change but a change never the less. A change I have witnessed for three quarters of a century and never tired of.

There have been many other changes in my life—and especially in this Christmas season. Today there are so many foods for thought to dwell on; my busy mind can hardly digest them all. The house is super quiet with only the click of my keyboard and the soft snoring of Molly lying in front of the stove. Like all dogs she lives in the moment, something I have never mastered. I am a slave to my memories and all day, like the soft snow outside, they have whispered incessantly through the dark recesses of my mind, like Marley’s ghost of Christmas past.

Ten years ago the house would have been alive with grandkids, with wet mittens, snotty noses and rose colored cheeks, just back inside the house from sliding down the hill and out onto the icy lake, now asking for more cookies. Several dogs would all be fighting over the same cardboard box even though the floor is littered with them. All the women would be off to town to gobble up the after Christmas bargains. The men are watching a football game balancing coffee mugs on their knees and telling the kids, “Yes you can have all the cookies you want, just get outside and play and take the dogs with you.” But then the kids all grew up and many moved away and she left me for her heavenly reward and briefly the whole thing fell apart. I wonder if there is a Wal-Mart or a M.O.A in heaven. If so I know where she is today.

For a while I was like a lost child in a department store. I was scared yes, because I’d never been lost like this before. But then something happened and I wiped my tears and sniffed my nose and somewhere out of nowhere she came. She had suffered the same heartbreak, as I, and I didn’t have to try and explain what was missing in my life right now. She knew all to well what we both needed and it was simply-- each other. I guess I never knew-- I never thought, that there could be a new life like this, which could come out of an old life. That so long ago, there had been a first, “I love you” and then sadly a last “I love you” but it wasn’t the end of the, “I love you’s.”

Such a wonderful Christmas this year. Those snot nosed kids now are positioning to have snot nosed kids of their own and so we drove from home to home and shared the love with all of them. We ate, we drank, we worshiped the birth of Christ and yes, Christmas will keep changing for all of us, as will life itself and in the end the love we shared will be what we’ll remember. The holiday is history and there is a lull right now but believe it or not I’m looking forward to next Christmas.