WHAT IS TRUE LOVE?

                                                

In 1965 the ‘Seekers’, a singing quartet from Australia, were one of the more popular groups of the time. Probably the song that identified with them the most was a song called, “I will never find another you.”At the time that song was coined I had been married just a few years. We were struggling to raise our babies and find our place in the world and whenever things got bad and I would get down she was always there to pick me up. Thinking back to those years, I know now it was that bond we had with each other that got us through. At times the second verse of that song I just mentioned would ring in my head and I remember those words today, 60 some years later, as if they were yesterday.

“There is always someone for each of us they say.

  And you’ll be my someone forever and a day.

  I could search the whole world over until my life is through.

  But I know I’ll never find another you.”

We stayed that way for almost fifty years and then cancer raised its ugly head in her body and although its been 8 years, I have moved on, I realize more every day that there will never be another her. But then and in all fairness to the one I now care for, life was never meant to be a comparison. We are all special in our own way. It was a different time and a different place and I feel so blessed to have a second partner to share my life with. Maybe it’s fitting that another song I remember from the Seekers was called “A world of our own.---We’ll build a world of our own that no one else can share. All our sorrows we’ll leave, far behind us there.”

I just witnessed a wedding that fell apart at the seams almost as soon as the ink on the certificates was dry and it has left a lot of people shaking their heads and asking, “What went wrong?” Far be it from me to speculate why. All I know now is, I see the hurt and confusion that is left behind and it will take a long time to get over it. I know this-- they never felt the love we felt for each other back then--or I do now-- or they would still be together.

My grandparents were married sixty some years and when grandpa talked about grandma his whole demeanor would change. A smile would cross his face and he looked like he had won the lottery. In reality he had something winning the lottery can’t buy. They lived with each other into their eighties when she had a debilitating stroke and had to be put in a home. He, alone for the first time simply died of a broken heart. The question, “What is true love,” has been asked from time immemorial. Books and poems have been written about it, songs have been sung about it but the question still remains. My theory is that when you are willing to put your partner’s own well-being and happiness, in front of your own, then you’re well on your way to a lasting relationship. God meant for us to enjoy our time together and so he taught us to love and respect each other and how to live together in harmony. For you see in that kind of a relationship there is no winning and losing, just loving and sharing, the good and the bad and that is what true love is all about.

              

FAMILY GET TOGETHERS

                                           

Years ago the kids used to come to the lake a lot. In fact knowing that they don’t get this newspaper I can safely say, maybe a tad more then necessary. But then the grandkids grew up and mom and dad got more money and more toys and more friends and bigger jobs to pay for all of that, so their time got rationed and grandpa and grandma were back on the short end of the stick. Then grandma got sick and left us and for a while grandpa got some sympathy visits but that wore off and although they didn’t say this --it was right on the tip of their tongue. “Put on your big boy pants grandpa and suck it up pop’s. You’re the one who moved way up there.”

My one daughter, who for all practical reasons, will never be anything but a city girl, took her family and moved to Mesa. Her husband hates bears and all creatures of the forest and her kids hate bugs, lake weeds and any town without an ‘IN and Out’ Burger, Chuckecheese and an Apple store. They seem to be okay with rattlesnakes and scorpions down there however so go figure. By the way that Apple store is not the red vegetable if you’re not tech savvy. They did talk me into finding a winter home down there and that’s okay. It does give Pat and I chance to thaw out and go see them and listen to my daughter go off on all of the old foggys who don’t know how to drive on the freeways down here and no—“seventy miles an hour is not fast enough and by the way why don’t they just put some of that yellow police tape around the whole state of Minnesota in the winter. It’s insane.

Back to my up north family, my son and my other daughter and their families and there coming to the lake. They used to like to come in the winter to snowmobile and ice fish and me not being here now gave them an opportunity to enjoy the lake place with out grandpa running around behind them, shutting off lights and turning down the thermostat. Now I do like to shut off my cable and Internet in the winter when I’m not here-- but I have been told “No Internet—no one using the house.” I like the house to be used when I’m not here so I lost that round. Internet is on and upgraded. I have also received notice that certain amenities would go a long way towards getting them there in the summer. Kayaks and paddle boards come to mind and a pontoon with Internet, a bar and a toilet have been mentioned. They keep telling me, “Dad you can’t take it with you and I tell them-- then I’m not going.”

Extortion is a harsh word used mostly by government agencies, unions and the drug companies but it has found its way into our everyday conversations too, except it’s just not called extortion. It’s called showering your loved ones with amenities to get them to come to the lake. Over the 4^thof July I had all of them here for three days. Ten adults, three babies and three dogs. It was nice and for just a short time like that, liquor and sedatives can take the edge off and keep the blood pressure within the normal perimeters. The septic tank is getting back to normal or at least I don’t hear those gurgling sounds emanating from it anymore. Molly’s not sleeping with one eye open anymore and –what’s that? The refrigerator caught up and shut itself off. Praise the lord I though it was stuck on running. So now you will have to excuse me, I have to go kayak shopping.

THE STORY OF OUR EARTH

                                               

The astronauts’ aboard Apollo 17 took one of the most requested photos from N.A.S.A. in 1972 as they were traveling to the moon. N.A.S.A. labeled it the “Blue Marble.” It was taken looking back towards the earth from about 18 thousand miles away, showing this beautiful planet wrapped in wispy white clouds. From that distance it was a beautiful blue and white orb but on the ground things were happening. Since that day we and other countries have sent probes all over the galaxy but nothing that resembles our beautiful home has ever been seen anywhere else. Now that doesn’t mean there isn’t another earth like planet out there some where, but when you think about it why don’t we just take care of the one we have.

The greatest threat to our planet is us and yes some of that can’t be helped because as long as we are breathing and emitting bodily wastes we can’t help but to pollute this planet. But even that can be overcome with technology or at least slow down the process of decay. Instead we fill our heads with pipe dreams, of colonizing some other planet we haven’t found yet, just in case things get too bad here and accept the decay of earth, as the cost of doing business. Our cities are choking with noxious air but yet fossil fuels are still the most popular. Our weather seems too erratic to be normal but our leaders deny any correlation between climate warming and the weather. Seas are rising and the arctic is melting but once again our leaders say it isn’t happening. Hundreds of thousands of species of bird’s, animals and fish are going extinct. Yet we turn a blind eye to all of it. The economy is good and we’re just going to hang our hat on that. The economy being good should be all the more reason to use that money to safeguard our earth.

This year for the first time in twenty years there were no bees to pollinate my apple trees so they are barren. Is it just a coincidence that our neighborhood has seen an increase in commercial spraying for pests? As a kid I was a hunter and there were pheasants and ducks in abundance but no more. We’ve chased them away with off road vehicles and wave runners. There are very few places sacred anymore to the birds and animals.

Sometime in the not to distant future the earth will not be conducive to healthy living for most people. There will be more and more disease and more unrest. We are seeing the seeds of it right now. Maybe it will be weather disasters or mankind will reach the boiling point and have that war of all wars we they have been practicing for and preparing for and stockpiling weapons for. Pandemics too are looming on the horizon with medical professionals powerless and they admit it.

I watched a film a while back that showed what would happen to the earth if mankind were wiped out. In the course of a few centuries it will heal itself without any interaction from us. From out in space it will still look like that picture I talked about at the start of this soliloquy of mine. But on the ground the healing will have finally began. Without us. 

THE GREAT BEE DEBACLE

                                               

So last week Molly and I took a leisurely stroll down to get the mail from the box at the end of the driveway. As soon as I opened the door of the box a small swarm of bees emerged and proceeded to sting the $#%*-- bad word intended, out of both of us. I took off running--Well I call it running, some call it a shuffle--- but Molly elected to do the stop drop and roll. Not a good a maneuver when the bees are still there and you’re showing them your pink tummy. But it was something she remembered from one of our late night fire prevention talks so she thought she would give it a shot. Finally she took off running too-- towards me-- bringing the bees along with her. Winded, I went to the safety of the garage and Molly diverted towards the lake.

My mailbox is one of those cute little covered bridge things with a steel mailbox inside of it. This leaves a gap between the steel box inside and the little wooden building outside and there in lays the problem and there in laid the bees with little room for you to get at them. There was only one answer. One of those cans of bee and wasp killer bombs. So off to town I go and I buy the most powerful one on the shelf. This one the label says will kill them if you just threaten them with it. But I got bee stings that are still burning in several places and Good Lord my poor dog, so I’m pi@#$% off-- another bad word but you had to be there. There will be no threats, just total annihilation.

 It said on the can, wait until dark so now I’m up an hour after my bedtime and that’s not helping my attitude either but I snuck down there and emptied the whole nine yards in every crook and cranny I could find.  Later I found the calamine lotion and swabbed down my bee stings and retired for the night. Did I mention a double hook of brandy to calm me down? I had to beg for Molly to come in the house because she hadn’t forgotten me shutting that garage door in her face. Needless to say we slept on opposite ends of the house and she’s still not talking to me.

The next morning when I went to get the paper and gloat over the bodies of all those dead bees, my mailbox was humming like a Crow Wing Power transformer It was still dripping with that so called deadly juice and those bees, we’ll they’re, there waiting for me. Perplexed I waited for the mailman to warm him but he proceeded to tell me he had already been stung yesterday and fix the problem-- or as the soup Nazi used to say on Seinfeld---“No mail for you.” So the box is looking old and maybe its time to get rid of it anyway. Only one problem. To unscrew it from the board you have to be right there. I gave it a try anyway and got stung. Twice more.

So off to the house I go for some newspaper, which I shoved in the box and one quick pass with the grill lighter. Vengeance is mine. Not sure what was in that juice but that box burned like a Roman candle. I know it’s a federal offense to destroy a mailbox but damn it this was my mailbox. 23.00 dollars later for a new box and I am back in business. Now when we go to get the mail, Molly stops half way there with one eye on the garage door and seems to be saying “I’ll wait right here big guy.”

UNWANTED AND WANTED TOUCHING

                                   

I was raised in somewhat of an unemotional family. From the time I was a young boy until I met my soon to be wife, no one ever told me they loved me except my grandparents. No one ever hugged me except my grandma. My parents did not abuse me, or were mean to me. They tried their best to provide for all of us kids. They just weren’t the kind of parents that were good at showing affection. This lack of affection was troubling to me however-- as I did love them both very much. My wife’s love for me however opened new doors into showing affection for others.

Today the far left is trying their best to paint Joe Biden as a pervert. Joe is a moderate and a hugger but not a socialist leaning person and that threatens them. It shows you how shallow they are. It shows you the depth of animosity that runs in our political process. Enough about that and yes the other side of the aisle has the poster child for this kind of bad behavior but their politics trump his behavior also,  (funny how that word got in there) anyway they don’t care.

I have over my long life hugged many people. I hug my family and friends, boys and girls alike because I care for them. Never was it done to try and touch something I shouldn’t touch but I guess if someone wanted to make the case they could. It would be a ‘he said, she said’ thing-- and usually ‘he saids’and ‘she saids’ end with off setting penalties that hurt both parties-- at least in politics. I’m never running for office but yet my life is an open book and I have talked many times about things in my past. There are people that are not comfortable hugging me or anyone else. I don’t think anything is wrong with that. All you have to do is extend your hand and your intentions are apparent to me and everyone else and believe me, I understand. No one will think less of you for being private.

As a firefighter I was at a particularly hard fought fire many years ago. It was an extremely hot day and I was exhausted. I had found a place under a tree in the shade and took off my gear. I was being somewhat emotional as there had been a heavy loss of property and life. A woman who lived in the neighborhood saw me and brought me something cold to drink and while I drank she could sense how troubled I was. She asked me if I needed a hug and I guess I smiled at her suggestion but I didn’t answer her and I didn’t get up for that hug either. As she walked away from me I could see she was crying and I felt so bad because it was then that I realized that maybe we both had needed that hug. I found out later her friend’s apartment was one of the ones that was lost.

We live in troubled times. The conflicts of politics has done it’s best to drive wedges between all of us and compartmentalize us. Male and female, white and people of color. Rich and poor, young and old were all in this together and this world belongs to all of us. Until we realize this and fight for what’s right and decent for everybody and not what gets you votes with distortions and half truths and attempts to ruin someone’s reputation to make yourself look good, the answers for a better society for all of us, will remain out of reach.