SUMMER THOUGHTS

                                                SUMMER THOUGHTS

There is something magical about this lake country in summer time. I have had many occasions to be in theme parks in my life, often at great expense and many miles traveled, but nothing man has ever made rivals the snugness of a cabin, on the shores of a sandy lake in the summer time. It seems that all of your senses come into play in such a place. For it’s not just the beauty of the place, and the wildlife you see, it’s the smell of the pines and flowers wafting in on soft breezes that mimic a mother’s breath on the top of her newborn’s head. It’s the sound of waves lapping softly on the sandy shoreline, always repairing and removing the tracks of intruders; sitting on the dock in your wet trunks, catching sunnies until your butt itches; the mournful cry of the loons coming from across the fresh water during a kaleidoscope sunset, mirrored in the placid waters of some unknown bay, tucked far away from the mainstream of humanity, as snug as your parents bed on a cold and scary night.

I grew up in the North Woods of Minnesota, and left to seek my fortune like so many do, but always, something drew me back from the fast-paced world I lived and worked at in the city. Something told me that, as you age, serenity becomes so crucial to your happiness and the woods and lakes are where it’s best found. For as mysterious as nature can be, it is synonymous with the untroubled lifestyle you’re now seeking. Maybe it’s some primeval urge that tugs us back, or was it something in our unexplainable and mysterious roots that brought us back. But, either way, back we come, as surely as the swallows returning home from Capistrano.

This land we love so much is sacred to all that live here. We understand that there are only a few degrees of separation between a blemish and a blossom in nature’s delicate world. That in summer time, this phenomenon of nature is most vulnerable because that is when the old gal shows it all off and hides nothing because, just like us, the flora and fauna too revel in summer time. I truly believe that when the credits are rolled, long after I am gone, most of what you will see of my life will have taken place in summer time. As Celia Thaxter said, and I quote, “There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.” As a side note, in every man’s heart there is a girl he can never forget, and a summer when it all began.

We live in an increasingly violent world. The winds of war seem to be constantly blowing all over the world. Social issues seem to spew hatred and disregard for each other here at home and around the world. Politicians and politics bring an acidy taste, like rancid bile, to the back of your throat. Is it any wonder that we try to go hide in nature, like a shy cat under the bed? That we want to find that quiet place, where our hearts can rest and mellow in what’s left of this world that we can call good and unspoiled. That finally we have paid our dues to society and we can now leave the so-called rat race, and rejoin what was once perceived to be the human race.  I have found it’s all right to be lazy in summer—in fact, it’s almost respectable. It’s the lakes, the cabin, the forest, birds and animals that give us this respite before we reach our final reward.

THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE

                                                THOUGHTS ABOUT LIFE

Each day as I take my dog for a walk, I walk down the service road that comes by my house. Three houses up from mine were people I stayed away from for many years because they always seemed to be so negative about the world and everything in it. It was a downer to talk to them. I had no other reason to avoid them; they were respectable people who kept their place nice and never gave anyone any problems. A few weeks back, I read an obituary in the paper and the wife of the couple had passed away.

I didn’t think much more about them after that, until the other day when I saw his vehicle there. He seemed to be tinkering out in the yard like we all do when spring finally comes, but he didn’t look up as I passed by so I kept on walking. Then it hit me. “That was you a year and ten months ago. That was you after everyone gave you a final hug and went home to their lives and you looked around that big old house full of fifty years of memories and said, where do I start?”

This weekend I am going to go over there and see how he is doing and I have no idea what I am going to say because I learned that there is nothing I can say to make it better. But no one should suffer alone, so I want to keep my mouth shut and just listen. I want him to tell me about her and not why she died but why she meant so much to him while she lived. I want to tell him not to be in a rush to change his life or get rid of anything. I have learned that the picture of her and you together that made you break down sobbing the day after the funeral-- a year or two from now will bring a gentle smile.

God said in the good book it isn’t good for man to live alone. But for all of us who have lived in a committed relationship with someone we love, even though we are now alone, we will never be alone.  Our hearts will see to that. There is something else that is good for us that our hearts can do, besides living and reliving those memories. Almost magically they will heal themselves up if we let them. She may well be the only one who you will ever call ‘wife’ but somewhere there may just be another lonely heart whose hands are warm and are waiting to be held. Don’t harden your heart.

In a couple of years or so, when the world is brighter and you come out of your shell, maybe, just maybe, something nice could happen. I know-- there is no one who can take her place but then your not replacing anyone are you? You’re just building a little addition onto your life or adding a few more chapters to your story and hopefully someone else’s too. It can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Year’s ago when Doctors were given their degrees and white coats; one of the things that was asked of them was “To do no harm.” That should be the goal of anyone who is trying to melt his or her life with someone else’s.

DEAR DAD

Dear Dad,

It’s been fifteen years now since last we spoke. Time has done little to erase your memory with me. I suspect that time will run out for me too, before that ever happens. You know Dad in all of the years I have lived on this earth, I have been blessed to see so many dads. Good men, who like you, loved their children and wanted the best for all of them. Men who made big names for themselves. Men who made lofty salaries and lived in houses, that made ours look like a shack. Men, society made into heroes. I mean no disrespect to any of them for their achievements but I want the world to know what my hero was like without any of that.

My dad was the man who made sure all of his eight kids got up and went to church on Sunday with him and Mom. Just before the collection plate would be passed he took out a pocket full of nickels and pressed one into each of our hands. If we giggled in church he would point at the Pastor and give you a glare that froze you in your tracks. He sang every hymn and expected you would too, even though he couldn’t carry a tune across the room in a wheelbarrow. We prayed before meals, even when what little, that was on the table, made Mom cry. The kids dished first then Mom and then him. He wore three pairs of pants to work along with several shirts and a denim jacket to stay warm in the cold. He never took a sick day because he didn’t have one to take. If there was money for clothes it went for school clothes for his kids or a dress for his wife. We knew we were poor but he always told us “we were as good as the next person but not one smidgen better,” and to never forget that.

           

My Dad worked two jobs most of his life to make ends meet. After work he cut all of his own wood for heat, grew a one-acre garden, and always had time for everyone and especially his kids. On the day I got married, Dad took me off by myself and he cried. Saying he was sorry for not being a better father, for not giving me more material things and for not having more time for me. I don’t think he realized and neither did I at that time, that the gifts he gave me were immeasurable. That it was his example that taught me love and respect for others. It was his example that showed me how good it feels to work hard and go to bed tired. It was his example of marriage and the way to treat your spouse and women that kept me married for forty-nine years. It was his example that trained me to raise my kids and now I see it in my son and daughters who are using that same example to raise their children.

           

When dad died there was enough in his bank account to settle his bills and

pay to bury him. I think that was his goal in life and nothing more. His assets were his children and his grandchildren and no one can put a price tag on them. I remember visiting him on his deathbed. I saw the worn out body of an old eighty-four year old man at peace with himself, ready to finally lay down his labors and go to his lord. I saw that peace etched on his face and felt the love that was in his heart for all of us, in my heart.

                                               

HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO DADS EVERYWHERE.

LEARNING FROM DOGS

                                               

Yesterday I took my dog, Molly, over to my friend’s house so she could play with her daughter’s dog, Lucy. Two one-year olds. It took them two sniffs and a lick, and they were off to the races. For a couple of hours they ran and played and then, exhausted, they lay down and were best friends. It made me wonder, for a while, why humans can’t treat each other like that and then the answer hit me, it’s because we’re humans and they’re dogs. Dogs are not judgmental or jealous. They don’t get upset by evil and discontent. You love them and they love you—it’s that simple. In fact, they will take it to the next level if you let them, because they will love you more than you love them. There is no animal, other than a dog, that will love someone more than they love themselves. Yes, as Andy Rooney said, “The average dog is better than the average person.”

I think some people love dogs because deep down, and maybe unconsciously, we wish we could be as innocent as they are. But it will never happen in our present state of mind because we can’t even manage to emulate the good that exists amongst our own ranks. We all want a world without the meanness, dishonesty and jealousy that exists in our world today, but somehow, despite all our research and well-meaning people, we don’t know how to find it. But take your dog over to meet a new friend and there they are, two dogs frolicking on the beach, complete strangers an hour ago, now lying in a shaft of sunlight, tongues hanging out, recharging their batteries for another go at it. Had Hitler, Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt been two Labradors, a Golden Retriever and a Poodle, the war would have been over in 1940.

Are there bad dogs in the world? A few. But it’s been my experience that those are dogs that were not able to bring their masters up to their level, and so they reverted to his. Yes, they do come with some baggage, but when we weigh the costs against the companionship they give us, we’re getting a heck of a deal. They’re the only creatures on the face of the earth, outside of our own, that want anything to do with us. When I leave, and don’t want my dog with me, she follows me to the door and then, when she sees me going alone, she simply drops her head and tail and goes back to the rug. All is forgiven though when I return, and she simply puts my rebuff behind her, and life goes on as if it never happened. I think that dogs have the same fears we have when it comes to life. Storms come to mind, and so do people and other animals they don’t trust. But the biggest fear my dog has when I leave without her is—I’m not coming back. Ann Landers said, and I quote, “Don’t accept your dogs admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”

I have known people who don’t want pets in their life. There can be good reasons for that, too; inability to care for them, or a busy lifestyle that doesn’t allow any time for pets. Almost the same reasons for not having children, I might add. I have hardly ever heard someone say they don’t want a dog because they hate dogs. Wait! I take that back. I did know a lady that told me once she hated dogs. Come to think of it, she hated most people, too.