FATHERS DAY AGAIN

                                            

 I sat down yesterday and paged though an old album that my wife put together of my thirty years on the fire department. There were pictures of me early on when my hair was dark brown and thick and my face unwrinkled. There were lots of pictures of fires and burned out buildings and terrible accidents.  There were many old newspaper clippings and articles, pertaining to my exploits over the years, but there in the back of the book was a picture of a fire truck my son had colored when he was a little boy. You know the kind that we usually hang on the refrigerator door for a while and then quietly throw it away. She had kept it and put it in this book and for a brief moment I looked at it and tried to imagine what was going through his young mind when he colored it. Oh I’m sure he was caught up in all of the pride small boys have of their fathers and what they do with their lives. It moved me to tears. Tears not for the part of my life that has passed, but tears of love for the son that was given to me and the relationship we have always had.

 How many fathers now days realize that their children are watching every move they make as they grow up. I know I didn’t when my son was that little. I was to caught up in my busy life to be that deeply involved in his life. It took that picture, forty-five years later, to bring to mind how involved my son was in my life, even though I wasn’t always there for him. It’s scary how easily it is to mislead a child. How much we as dads mentor them even when we don’t realize we are doing that. I think of my own father and ask myself what did I take from him? He never did anything that would have got his picture in the paper, because just being a good dad is not that news worthy. But it was his actions that showed me how to try and be a good dad. It has been said, “When you raise your son you raise your grandson too.” For a long time I never knew what that meant-- but now I do.

There have been things in my life I have done that I’m not proud of but I thank the good lord my children were not witness to it.  I’m glad that I had the good sense to keep my failings to myself and try not to repeat them. Today’s world is far different then the one I grew up in. Absentee fathers are commonplace. I’m not talking about guys like me that just weren’t paying attention. I’m talking about guys who felt their involvement ended with the sperm donation and now are out trying to get another woman to trust them so they can do it all over again. It’s beyond me how anyone can father a child and then turn their backs on her and the child. I have seen countless marriages that were forced to split up, for many reasons, but yet there were dedicated fathers who stayed connected and did the best they could under the circumstances. Someday your children will understand why mom and you were not a good fit, but they will never understand why you left them.

So to all of the dads who did their job as fathers and you know who you are. God will reward you even if nobody else does, because you weren’t just a parent. You were a good dad.