A while back we finished up with Kitty’s radiation treatments at St Joseph’s hospital in Brainerd. For me, at least, there was a certain amount of sadness to that last trip, because it represented the end of what they could do for her in her cancer treatments. It had been a long and arduous journey for both of us since that day, last September, when she first started her treatments.
We were told from the start that a cure was not possible, and the treatments would make her more comfortable and give her precious time. And for the most part, that has been true. We hoped against hope that someday a doctor would say, “There is no trace of the cancer,” and that a miracle of sorts has happened—but it was not to be.
So we waited for this parasitic disease to make its final assault on her gaunt and weakened body. Each morning I would ask her the same question, “How are you today? Where does it hurt and what can I get you or how can I help?”
Throughout all of the treatments and trips to the hospital, two surgeries and four extended stays, she remained steadfast in the fight. Every day she talked of the future as if there was one for her. She wouldn’t give up. Yet, I knew and she knew what lay ahead. Just a few weeks ago she turned over the checkbook and told me I would have to take care of the bills—something she has done for fifty years. I tried to keep her as independent as I could in her fight, knowing that her pride must remain intact for her to feel good about herself. But, in bits and pieces, it all unraveled and she became more and more dependent on those around her.
For me it was a lesson in courage—her courage—but knowing her as I do, I guess I expected no less of her. She never was a quitter, and no matter what came her way, she was always a survivor. She was the one in the family that picked us all up when we were down. We’re not going to just be without a mother, wife, grandmother and friend. We’re going to be without our leader and it’s not going to be easy.
I have written before about how, when someone passes, it’s human nature to take all of the good things they have done and incorporate them into our lives to make each of us better people. Yes, through emulating we grow and become more perfect. I know, in my family, we have been given a great gift and now we need to take it, keep it going, and not let it die with her. This is her legacy and that is the most precious thing anyone can leave you.
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