TODAY

                                                          

 It was the fall of 1964 and we were welcoming our second baby into the world and moving into our modest new rambler home in a subdivision of Brooklyn Park. The world was ripe with promises back then and we were building a family to fulfill our future, with untold joys yet to come. Somewhere in the background the New Christy Minstrels were singing their signature song “Today” I’ve never forgotten the words to that song. “Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine. I’ll taste your strawberries I’ll drink your sweet wine. A million tomorrows shall all pass away.  Ere I forget all the joy that is mine today. Those words, said so well, what I was feeling at that time.

Today with our babies grown and gone and their babies now going out into the world and my beautiful Kitty gone to her just reward I can only sit and think back to that wonderful era when God was so surely in his heaven and all was right with the world, for her and me-- and yes-- I cannot forget all the joy that was mine that day. All of the tomorrows that have since passed away, and will pass away, will do little to dim my memory of her and that time and that place and now it’s seems that is all I have left of her.

The song went on, I can’t be content with yesterday’s glory, I can’t live on promises winter to spring. But today is my moment and now is my glory. I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing. This is the hard part for me. To put aside yesterday’s glory and look to the future and yes, there is a future as lonely as it seems sometimes and I need to embrace it. I need to embrace it because I need to tell the world that when you let love be your life’s corner stone, life can be so good and even though its been taken away from you, it gave you the great example of how love feels and works. It defines you.

So back to the title of the song,--- Today.--- There are so many cliché’s that come to mind. “Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today is the day the lord has made,” and many more. They all have merit but for me, today is one more day on my lonely trip into a new world without her. A friend once asked me if the amount of love that goes into a relationship like we had, is commensurate to the amount of grief that exists when it is taken away. I have to say I don’t know the answer to that but it seems to me that grief should subside at some point. I can’t envision the love that I had for her ever going away.

My wife had a porcelain candy dish that broke and she glued it back together. It still held candy and served its function but the scars of that break always showed. That’s the way my heart is today. I’ll glue it back together eventually and it will still work and it will love once more but the scars will always be there.  As for me and now--I will remain grateful that this heart of mine, once knew such love.