I remember a time a while back, when my brothers and I had to ask our dad to quit driving, because he was going to have an accident if he didn’t. The meeting didn’t go very well, you would have thought we were asking him to have a sex change. It was only through trickery, deceit and some smooth talking that we were able to accomplish it and I’m not so sure he went to his grave, liking us as much as he once did.
The other day, while driving down the road, I kept hitting the rumble strips on the side of the road while daydreaming and I thought to myself when is it going to be my turn? I’m seventy now and true, I am a very young seventy in my estimation, but dad was about eighty when he quit driving, so time is not on my side. In defense of myself I know for a fact the lanes are narrower than they used to be and my truck is wider. But be that as it may be, I have taken some steps to protect my driving privileges as long as possible. One is, whenever I am with my kids in my vehicle, I ask them to drive, saying, I don’t know where we are going anyway. Two, my wife is no longer here to tattle on me. She was like having a cop and a driver’s instructor with you in the car. She had imaginary brakes on her side of the car and she would steer me by holding her hand up and waving it in one direction or the other. If I hit the rumble strip it was time for a lecture and that kissing the driveway thing she did when we arrived at our destination, was only funny once. The only way I could calm that women down was to threaten to shut off her airbag.
I find myself sticking to the posted speed limits most days now. They-- meaning the cops-- probably already have enough reasons to think about stopping me so no reason to push the envelope. I don’t talk on my phone while I am driving and I eat my food when I’m at the burger joint, in the parking lot before I leave. I hate eating inside those places because of the potential for catching Ebola from that kid in the booth next to me with the runny nose and watery eyes who just stuck a wet french fry to the back of my neck, but back to my driving. Old people seem to last longer in their lifestyles, if they don’t get too stubborn about the changes and adapt. You can’t see as well at night, so try not to drive at night. Your reactions are slower, so give the guy in front of you a break and stay back a ways farther. If there are people who want to get around you on the road because they like to speed, pull over and let them by and don’t give them the finger when they do. Remember your blood pressure.
I do enjoy driving and I like my vehicle and take good care of it. I’ve been spoiled rotten with all of the gadgets in it and I’ll trade it off when I find one with more gadgets. I grew up in a family that always drove jalopies and somebody else’s junk. If I wanted to take a girl out I always had to go with a friend who had a car. I couldn’t afford one myself and my dads fifty-four Chevy station wagon with the usual cord of wood in the back, permeated with cigar smoke and chain saw gas, was not cool. So as they say in show business “We’ve come a long way baby.” Lets hope it lasts awhile longer. Bon Voyage
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