WHAT IS LOVE?

I read a letter in the paper a while back, written by a mother who’d just lost her three year old daughter. I was moved by her letter, but moved even more by her faith that is propping her up right now. Here was someone who understands what love and loss is really all about. For, in the midst of all her grief, she talked about the greatest love of all—the love that came to us all in the miracle of Easter.

I also read, online, of a woman who attended a Garth Brooks concert, back in Minneapolis, after having a round of chemo that very morning. She held up a sign during the concert that read, “Chemo this morning, Garth tonight, enjoy the dance.” He stopped the concert to have her brought right down in front where he could honor her. Yes, my friends, that is love.

There was an old man, down in Florida where we stayed, who walked his equally old dog every day. Their gait was slow and hesitant, but you could hear him talking to the dog and encouraging him along. I asked him how old the dog was, and he said “About sixteen.” Yes,” he said with a tired smile, “We’re both getting to the end of the road, aren’t we, Rocky? But that’s okay.” Again—more love.

I often reflect and remember when she was alive. I would be writing, and then looking up at her she would catch my eye, smile and wink at me, or touch my hair as she passed my chair, or sometimes, she just opened her arms and embraced me as if she never wanted to let go, and I never wanted her to let go. That, too, was love.

Why aren’t these the stories of every day instead of war and hate, and politicians smearing each other? Even our music has gone from Frankie singing “Yes you’re lovely. With your smile so warm and your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me but to love you and the way you look tonight” to some rapper, spewing out profanity.

All too often, we have forgotten how to love. Love for many is now a new cell phone or a video game, shoved in your kid’s face, and “There, now leave me alone!” Love is not knowing what you like— but it’s knowing what your kids and spouse like—and acting accordingly. It’s playing catch with your son, in the backyard, when you’re so weary you can hardly throw the ball. It’s reading a story to your little girl, that you have read so many times you have it memorized, with a Raggedy Ann doll between you. It’s lying in bed, watching the love of your life sleeping, and feeling nothing but contentment and how lucky you are to be there, fifty years after you first met.

Everything I ever truly loved turned out to be something I never wanted to forget. Everything I truly hated only haunts me for the rest of my life. Dr Seuss said,” You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” In true love there is no ‘you or I,’ just a desire to laugh together when you make a fool of yourself, and cry together when you are hurting. Oh, how much better our lives would be-- if we only knew how to truly love each other.