It’s Easter Sunday morning and I’m up early. Too much cake and coffee last night with friends and loved ones and a fitful nights sleep. Its dark yet, the sun is still below the horizon but you can see the first vestiges of light, peeking through the trees in the east. Yesterday the ice went off the lake and this morning as I took Molly out to do her thing, for the first time since last fall I could actually smell the lake as the waves softly lapped the shoreline. Then as if on cue, I heard the loons calling from somewhere out on the lake. Yes, their back, I’m back and spring is back. Somehow, this circle of life goes on.
Today I will travel to the cities to be with my son’s family. I look eagerly to holding my newest great grandson born just a few days ago. The oldest and the youngest member of my family, being introduced. The day will be bitter sweet for me however, because this babies other great grandfather, my daughter-in-laws dad, is in the end stage of a long fight with dementia that has robbed him of the ability to eat and drink. It may well be the last time I see him. My heart breaks for his family. It’s a ritual that plays out for to often at this stage of my life. Yet somehow, this circle of life goes on.
I wish there was a way for younger people to see and feel, what us old people feel at this stage of our lives. I know this; there are no words to adequately describe it. I can try but the thesaurus that holds those words has never been written. There is no magic elixir you can take to just numb your feelings and help you get through this kind of recurring sadness. You just have to accept and live through it as we have done so many times before. Time weighs heavily on your mind in times like this. But for every door that closes, another opens and at least for me this baby today will be in that open door. Somehow, this circle of life goes on.
Outside today that same circle of life is being renewed. This world that was black and white for months, locked up in ice and snow, is coming back to life. Soon winters picture will only be seen as a photo negative of what we have seen for the last few months and the new picture will take on the vibrant colors of summer. As if Mother Nature, sitting at her easel, with her swift broad brush, was creating another masterpiece as she has done so many times before. Soon eggshells will crack and baby birds will crawl out. Deep in dens in the forest wombs will empty out and tiny replicas of their parents will start their journey through life, insuring the renewing of the species. In the shallows the fish are spawning and the insects they and the birds need to eat are coming back to life. Somehow, this circle of life goes on.
I feel so blessed to be able to be with loved ones this Easter and to enjoy the love our risen lord came to instill in all of us. It’s only through our relationship with him that all of what I have written about today makes any sense. Earlier, I talked about those magic words I couldn’t find to describe my feelings today but one word does keep coming to mind and that is hope. Hope for a better world. Hope for a life in the hereafter and hope that somehow for all of us, this circle of life will go on.
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