Years ago the kids used to come to the lake a lot. In fact knowing that they don’t get this newspaper I can safely say, maybe a tad more then necessary. But then the grandkids grew up and mom and dad got more money and more toys and more friends and bigger jobs to pay for all of that, so their time got rationed and grandpa and grandma were back on the short end of the stick. Then grandma got sick and left us and for a while grandpa got some sympathy visits but that wore off and although they didn’t say this --it was right on the tip of their tongue. “Put on your big boy pants grandpa and suck it up pop’s. You’re the one who moved way up there.”
My one daughter, who for all practical reasons, will never be anything but a city girl, took her family and moved to Mesa. Her husband hates bears and all creatures of the forest and her kids hate bugs, lake weeds and any town without an ‘IN and Out’ Burger, Chuckecheese and an Apple store. They seem to be okay with rattlesnakes and scorpions down there however so go figure. By the way that Apple store is not the red vegetable if you’re not tech savvy. They did talk me into finding a winter home down there and that’s okay. It does give Pat and I chance to thaw out and go see them and listen to my daughter go off on all of the old foggys who don’t know how to drive on the freeways down here and no—“seventy miles an hour is not fast enough and by the way why don’t they just put some of that yellow police tape around the whole state of Minnesota in the winter. It’s insane.
Back to my up north family, my son and my other daughter and their families and there coming to the lake. They used to like to come in the winter to snowmobile and ice fish and me not being here now gave them an opportunity to enjoy the lake place with out grandpa running around behind them, shutting off lights and turning down the thermostat. Now I do like to shut off my cable and Internet in the winter when I’m not here-- but I have been told “No Internet—no one using the house.” I like the house to be used when I’m not here so I lost that round. Internet is on and upgraded. I have also received notice that certain amenities would go a long way towards getting them there in the summer. Kayaks and paddle boards come to mind and a pontoon with Internet, a bar and a toilet have been mentioned. They keep telling me, “Dad you can’t take it with you and I tell them-- then I’m not going.”
Extortion is a harsh word used mostly by government agencies, unions and the drug companies but it has found its way into our everyday conversations too, except it’s just not called extortion. It’s called showering your loved ones with amenities to get them to come to the lake. Over the 4thof July I had all of them here for three days. Ten adults, three babies and three dogs. It was nice and for just a short time like that, liquor and sedatives can take the edge off and keep the blood pressure within the normal perimeters. The septic tank is getting back to normal or at least I don’t hear those gurgling sounds emanating from it anymore. Molly’s not sleeping with one eye open anymore and –what’s that? The refrigerator caught up and shut itself off. Praise the lord I though it was stuck on running. So now you will have to excuse me, I have to go kayak shopping.
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