SOMEONE TO CARE FOR

                                              

A while back Pat and I went to the cities to attend the celebration of life of a dear friend. There were many memories and deserving accolades shared amongst the friends and family gathered there that day. But as the ceremony progressed I couldn’t help thinking that as nice as this was, why can’t we do this for people before they leave us, so they too can enjoy the love and respect they so richly deserve.

My father-in-law was disabled and after his wife died we had to put him in a care facility. The guilt, my wife and I felt about having to do this was only tempered by the realization of how ill equipped we would have been, to care for him in our home. So for thirteen years we made the long trip through the cities, from north to south, to visit grandpa almost weekly. When he passed away, as sad as it was, we took comfort in the fact that we had done our best to not forget him.

One of the things I witnessed in all of those trips to that home was the many people who lived there forgotten. Many times we would take grandpa out to a café for Sunday dinner and the looks on the faces of those who had been forgotten, sitting in their wheelchairs, was akin to visiting a pet shelter and seeing those mournful eyes of the animals no one wanted, looking from behind those wire cages. The holidays were especially bad.

My companion Pat goes once a week to visit the shut-ins at a care facility as a volunteer ombudsman. She has dedicated much of her life to caring for the sick or teaching others how too. Now retired from teaching and nursing she still feels the call to do something. The official term Ombudsman is someone who has been appointed, to be an advocate for the people who live in these facilities. Listen to them and confidentially help resolve their problems. I know she does do that but I know also from listening to her, her real intent is to provide an extra level of comfort to the residents.  I am so proud to see her dedication. 

As I have aged I too am feeling my limitations. My son has told me, “Dad don’t be doing things you shouldn’t be doing. We can be there in two hours and take care of it for you.” Pat is constantly reminding me how to take care of myself and we talk every day. I have thought of how maybe it would be easier if I moved closer to my family so they wouldn’t be so far away but my children tell me they understand how important is to me to live here. This is my home and once I leave it, I close a door I will never be able to reopen. I don’t just leave the buildings and friends behind. I leave my life behind.

We are our brother’s keeper. It’s up to all of us to not only care for each other but to say those nice things that are in our hearts and minds to those people who need us in their lives now--and not over a casket.