CREATION

                                                           

 There are days when I go to the woods, across the road from my house, and find my spot on the bank of the river; and just sit down with my back to an old oak tree and soak it all in. It’s ironic, because I used to do that as a kid, too, and I’ve never tired of it. Basically, the scene is the same, and so are the actors when they are there. It’s just my perception that has changed. You see, as a child, my world and the people in it were virtually unblemished, or at least to me they were. The world was far more peaceful and unspoiled back then, at least, what I knew of it was. I never worried from one day to the next that anyone would, or could, harm this unspoiled jewel of nature that lay out before me. Even back then, what I actually saw was far from perfect. I just didn’t know the difference. My life back then was built on dreams, and you see, dreams rarely have complications.

Now, as an old man, I still dream but instead of dreaming of how I want it to be, I now dream of how I wished it had been. If age brings us anything, it brings us a sense of reality, and as the old “Serenity Prayer” says—“The wisdom to know the difference.” The wisdom of having seen so many things go wrong, and also go right, in life. Basically, it’s what worked and what didn’t work. You learn so much from your mistakes, but there is a much better way to learn your lessons. That way is when you learn from others’ mistakes, or discover your own mistakes before anyone knows you made them, and you correct them. 

I believe in creation. I believe this world is just too perfect for someone to not have had a hand in all of this. I also believe that “the someone,” who had a hand in this, must be very sad when he sees what has happened. But it was predestined to happen because we ourselves are so imperfect, and he knew that. Mankind has been driven to find new and better ways to do everything, and often at the expense of others and our world. It’s our definition of “better” that comes into question for many. What could be better than what I am looking at right now? A lazy river that is a refuge for so many creatures, and me, slowly winding its way to the sea.

But we are an inquisitive bunch, and we churn out new inventions and products; sometimes long before we have gotten used to what we have. There seems to be no way to slow the pace. To try and make the world a better place to live in, is admirable, until greed raises its ugly head. I read a quote from a man, one James Roberts, that said, “No matter how much we consume, we never get closer to happiness; we only speed up the treadmill.” There is an answer, however, and what I am doing today is part of it—just stepping off the treadmill for a while. I hope that fifty years from now somebody will sit in this same place and soak it up, too. That this place will still be somewhat pristine; and in the mad rush to make it all happen, we can still go and find this peace. “The New Year lies before us like a spotless tract of snow. Be careful how you tread on it, because every track will show.” Author Unknown.

OUR LIVES ARE AN OPEN BOOK

                                   

 I have an analogy that always comes to my meandering mind whenever I think about our on going human lives and it involves our day-to-day living and me writing a book. A natural comparison you say for an Author. For you see I imagine our lives, like the pages and chapters of a book to be a story that is always a works in progress. Hopefully, someday, someplace, we will be allowed to write a proper ending to it. Right now though, we’re just along for the ride and going where the story takes us. Hopefully, if all ends well, we will have rode happily off into the sunset, like the main character in the book, satisfied, our story is over and our ending complete. As an author I can tell you when writing a novel I don’t always go where I intended to go with a story and in the end I have to go where the story takes me. That’s what we need to do in life too. We have dreams and aspirations about where our lives should go, but things change and situations come up and we have to improvise and come at it from another angle. Sometimes making good things out of bad, sometimes simply failing once more.

It’s this flexibility, this versatility, which allows for us to go forward in life when we’ve been knocked down. Getting knocked down isn’t the problem. It’s not getting back up again that is. To get back up and take those necessary corrective steps, sometimes backwards, only to go forward again, reenergized and somewhat resolved that this too could work. I have had to do this in my life lately because everything was thrown topsy-turvy for a while and I was pulled down into the depths of despair. It’s like being thrown overboard from a speeding boat when you weren’t paying attention and as you brake the surface of the water, coming back up from the depths, you are disoriented for a while, but instead of just flailing off in any direction you treaded water for a while, looked around and pondered your options. You know that time and energy are not finite and you need to get it right this time. That second chances come along all of the time but unlike first chances, this time it has to be right because the odds of another chance are greatly diminished and your life could be seriously damaged.

Life, as I see it in my analogy, like the making of a book, takes a lot of editing to get it right sometimes. We have to be willing to recognize and let go of things that don’t work for the story. Life isn’t meant to be hard and fast and so inflexible. There is a lot of room to be creative and make it the best you can, before it goes to print. We have to do that because it is at this point, that it becomes much harder to change. The best mistakes we can make are the ones we caught and corrected and no one ever knew about them. We learned the lesson without the punishment.

I just finished my tenth book and now I need to think about what’s next. That’s the way life is too. We finish up one story and wonder what’s next. Then along comes another story we never knew existed. Isn’t it great? 

I CONFESS

                                                         

 Just in case I might want to run for president someday, I am going to come clean right now on all of the bad things I have done in my life, so all of you know about them and I in turn, have no dirty secrets. So, pay attention people as you read this, because this will knock your socks off. One day, when I was about four years old and very mad at my mother, I went outside. On the sidewalk that ran in front of our house, for a whole block I stomped on every crack in that sidewalk. Now, my mother’s back still seemed to be fine after that, but she was not one to complain about such things. But Mrs. Klein, next door, turned out to be as hunchbacked as the guy who terrorized Notre Dame, so I might have had a hand in that. Mrs. Klein, I apologize, even though I know you can’t hear me because you’re dead, but I’m sorry that backfired. It was not my intention, but I am no clairvoyant.

I have, numerous times in my life, cut off those labels that say, “Do not remove under penalty of law,” on my pillows and mattresses. I am not proud of this, but I am weak sometimes, and that thing sticking out of my pillow got to be too much, and I just snapped. I have had to live with this on my conscience for a long time, and I must admit, it feels good to come clean on this one

I used to go to a barbershop that had Playboy magazines on the reading table. Now I want you to understand, I did not look at the pictures, I only read the stories, but sometimes it was very hard to not see a picture for a very brief time while turning the pages. My wife started cutting my hair shortly after that, because she said I got too frisky when I came home from the barbershop, and getting a haircut every week was getting way too expensive. Then, for some crazy reason, five years ago she suggested I go back to the barbershop. Women, I’ll never understand them.

I once pirated a movie that I wanted to keep. I have lived in fear of the F.B.I. coming after me for years now, and every time I see that warning on the videos I rent, I have to leave the room. I still have the movie, but it is well hidden in the woods. I have not been there for years because I know I am being followed wherever I go. I am thinking seriously about going into the witness protection program, but it makes it hard to run for office when you don’t exist.

In 1955, at age 14, I stole a pack of cigarettes from the Red Owl grocery in Staples. My buddy, Arnie, and I smoked them all in a junk car, and we both threw up. I did not inhale. I have checked, and the statute of limitations has passed on this petty crime and the Red Owl went out of business, so I consider this case closed.

So there you have it all—the secrets from my sordid past—my soul laid bare for all to see. Mea culpa, mea culpa. I have not yet announced my candidacy, but I am forming an exploratory committee—as soon as I can find someone to be on it. I know it’s late in the race, but what can I say. It’s for our country.---Mike.