MY RIGHTS

                                                         

Four years ago, I purchased a small winter home in Arizona. It had become apparent that I needed to find a warmer place in the winter to take care of my health. So, each late fall, Pat and I take the long trip down and make the return trip back to Minnesota in the spring. I feel blessed that we are able to do this. But that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.

My home is in a small-gated community and to live there you have to join and live by the rules of the association that governs the community. They tell you what color you can paint your house and when it needs to be painted. They ask that your car stay in the garage and every one has to maintain an outside light on the front of your house that comes on at dusk and shuts off a dawn. There are many other rules, but basically its order and uniformity that they are striving to maintain. They know that without the rules someone would paint his house purple, the garages would fill with clutter and driveways would become parking places for old abandoned vehicles.

In the three years that I have lived there I have heard very little complaints about this tight-fisted approach to keep the place looking nice. Most of us are seniors and long past the age of doing the Jones’s one better. We just want to live peacefully and quietly with each other. There was time in our lives when the word “no” crept into too many of the things we said and did. Now we accept it.

I have in the past lived where people had a complete disregard for their property and how it infringes on the neighborhood. They become defiant if they were asked by neighbors or local authorities to get with the game, and take care of their place. “My property and my rules they would scream” and “if you don’t like it move. I have my rights.”

When the constitution was written it was stated that we all had certain unalienable rights. In other words, there were certain things under the constitution that no one could take away from you. They even gave us examples of it. Life, liberty and pursuit of happiness and back then you knew what that meant but in today’s litigious society that has come to mean almost anything. No one has the right to tell you no.

So many times, I have heard about young men and women who were living their lives somewhat out of control who joined the military service. It seemed to be the one place where someone else had complete control over your actions. A place where you couldn’t question authority or sue them. You did what you were told. This militaristic way of running a business was necessary to keep law and order and a well-oiled machine that has to be on the top of its game if we are going to survive. But beyond the ranks and out in the real world this kind of order does not exist in many places and everybody, right or wrong has their rights. The courts are full of examples. It’s this breakdown of society’s etiquette that will doom this society, not make it better.

MEA CULPA

                                                            

“When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” Those words from the bible sometimes give me great pause, for now as an old man I realize that during those care free days of my childhood I sometimes was given a free pass from the realities and complexities of life. But then with adulthood, came responsibilities and with responsibilities came problems and then--- no Mom and Dad. The problems were mine to solve.

 As a child my world was like the old adage of, “Snips and snails and puppy dog tails.” Often times it was only what I dreamed it up to be. I went to church with my parents and they taught me to love one another. To not steal or lie or speak ill of others. I Had no biases no preconceived convictions. I did what my parents asked me to do. Then as the years went by, I found that the world my parents brought me up to live in, didn’t really exist anymore and if I wanted to conform, I needed to get with the game. My days of innocence were over. But were they or was I looking for the easy way out?

I look around me today at the world that exists and it bears no resemblance to my world as a child. But be that as it may be, because my days in it are waning. So, this isn’t really about me is it? No, but it is about the family I will be leaving behind. I could list all of the things that have the propensity to change this country as we once knew it and what we seem to be doing to it, but it would be a long list and no one is really interested. If they were, I wouldn’t be writing this would I?

As I dig deeper into the “Who’s” and ‘Why’s” of all this happening, I keep coming back to 

one thing. That these people I am so concerned about having to live in this mess-- that 

seems to have been created in this world, had little to do with why we are, where we are 

today. That somewhere some form of personal responsibility has to be taken by my 

generation because we allowed it to happen. It is my hope, my prayer, that today’s 

generation will look back and say. You know what? They did have a better way of doing 

things on some of this and yes, they were asleep at the switch sometimes but now---well it’s 

up to us to fix this.

This is my way of taking some personal responsibility and it’s called contrition. It’s that same 

responsibility I talked about at the start of this, that came from leaving my childhood and

becoming an adult. I have always believed that much of the trouble today was never so 

much about our children failing us, as us failing our children. I want my sons and daughters 

to be better than I was and theirs to be better than they were. That’s the only way progress 

can be made. There are those from my generation that will say, “I have done nothing 

wrong.”I say come on. Look around you.

A new year is upon us and with it, is a perfect time to make some changes. Let’s make this 

a good world for all of us but especially for the ones that will inherit it.

            .

EVERYONE NEEDS A CHEERLEADER

I read often about the troubles the county is having with the growing numbers of children that are being placed in foster homes. Here at a time when these kids need nurturing the most, they are being abandoned. At a time when they are most vulnerable to outside influences that could take them down the wrong path to life altering experiences, the very people that created them are failing them. It shows the power that drugs, alcohol and outside influences can have over our lives. I look into the eyes of the innocents and I say to myself; how can this be? To be fair there are cases where illness and situations beyond their control have caused parents to give up their kids but that is the exception and it makes up just a small percentage of the cases. 

I grew up in a family that paid scant attention to each other. With eight kids it sometimes seemed there were many more things going on, than there was time to pay attention too, so why bother. My parents’ days were filled with their time spent just providing food and shelter and the necessities of life. If they had a goal in life it was, “Get these kids raised up and out the door. “Yet they did persevere. My father asked me to move out and make my own way the day I graduated from high school. My grandfather who was always my ‘go to guy’, Listened as I told him I thought dad was being mean. My grandfather then told me, “If he didn’t believe you were ready for this, your dad wouldn’t have said that. Now go show us what you got and know your dad is watching you. Were all watching you and cheering you on.”

I think for all of us as parents, seeing our kids off to a good start in life is our ultimate goal, the difference being though, that we need to enjoy the trip with them and the word I am looking for is--- encouragement. We all have our good days and bad days. A little praise on the good days and a little support on the bad days can go a long way to building that confidence a kid can need. If you have ever gone to a sporting event you have noticed the enthusiasm that comes from a crowd that is in support of their teams’ efforts. I am sure most people would agree that this has the power to turn that score into their favor many times. It is true in life also.

However, we seem to have become parents, we took on the job of being there for our kids as part of the deal. It isn’t a choice, its a prerequisite. It’s a contract that says. “You gave them life, now help them live it. Every step of the way.”

To those who are struggling with addictions and other things that are getting in the way with raising your kids. You need to ask yourself. Is where I am right now, where I want my kids to be when they are my age? Or is this where we break this chain and do what is right for them? Look into the eyes of your kids. All they are asking for is a chance to show the whole world they too have something to offer. You and them only get one chance at this and when that boy or girl becomes something to be proud of later in life, you can stand right there beside them and hold your head high because you made some tough choices but the right choices and the whole world will benefit from it, not just your kids. Those kids need their parents and guardians everyday of their lives and the world needs you to be there for them. 

SOME THOUGHTS I NEVER WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT

I have never wanted to write about politics. In my world it is a personal thing and no one has the power or the right to tell you how to believe. I write now to have a discussion, not an argument but I need to show you an example of when politics went to far for me.

As I write this today, I am breaking my word but I feel the example is so strong that it is the only way I can accurately describe what has happened to politics and politicians in our country today. Why I am breaking my word is because at the time this happened, I vowed to keep it to myself. At that time, I felt I would have lost my job had I came forward but beyond that I became good friends with the man’s family and I wanted to not paint him in a bad light for my own selfish revenge. Actually, when we both retired, we became good friends and I had forgiven him.

I lived in the same town I worked in and there was an election for city council. There was one particular candidate, who I supported, who was not my boss’s choice. I let this candidate put a political sign in my yard. I was called into the office and was told in no uncertain terms to remove the sign. The words, “You will no longer be working here,” were not said but they were insinuated. I had a wife and three kids and needed my job.

I was shocked that in America this could happen but I did as I was told. I was to find out later in life, as I grew in the organization that this was the way to get along. After we both retired and met socially on a level playing field, I never brought the subject up but it was always there right on the edge. He has since passed away and it is my wish that he has eternal peace. I remain friends of the family. He was a far different person, after he was no longer in power. In fact, he was a good person and good to me.

Politics made that man do what he did and today as I look out over the political landscape, I see many examples of people who are being used, against their beliefs, for the sake of the party. They simply bite their tongue and do as they are told. They need to get along, to come along, or go home. We used to call that extortion but in todays world it seems to be acceptable.

The past few weeks in congress, as we the people sat on the side lines, two political parties spent weeks of the governments time fighting over impeachment. It reminded me of a man and a woman in a bitter divorce arguing and fighting it out in front of the kids. The kids, at that point simply didn’t matter anymore. In congress it was ‘we the people’ that didn’t matter anymore. 

We can change this because there is a time when we will matter and it’s on November 4^th. Those selfish lawmakers will have no way to control who we vote for. We need not be vindictive but we need not forget what they have done to us and our country and hold them accountable. They don’t deserve our trust, or our votes because we have seen their true colors and believe me, we can do better. They are not going to act—so  we must.

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