Wednesday, May 8, 2013

OBSERVATIONS FROM ITALY


                                              
Buon giorno readers. I was blessed to be able to go with some friends to Italy a while back and for you who have not been there, I would like to offer the following observations about the country. Keep in mind that these are my opinions and may or may not be shared by those who accompanied me, or others who have been there. To start with, I could not substantiate the notion that Italy is the land of delectable Italian food that will wow your palate with perfect pizzas. I like cheese and sausage on my pizzas and neither seemed to exist where I was. The pizzas seemed to be a rather hard crust with a few veggies and some pepperoni on them and instead of cheese they have oil on them that tasted to me like lucky tiger hair oil. To those who like pasta, they have great pasta but I was unable to find a single meatball or a Godfathers pizza shop. When I asked about “Godfather’s” they drew their finger across their throat and said “Sicily.”

There is no coffee in Rome just shots of espressos that come in cups about the size of the ones that are in a Susie Homemaker play dishes kit. The one-ounce or so of sludge that is in them is equal to about six, five-hour energy drinks. You gulp it down in one swig, wait for your eyes to uncross, and your on your way. There is cappuccino for the non-espresso drinkers, which is the same thing with milk in it. Americano coffee, which is sometimes advertised but frowned upon, is not anything that resembles American coffee. I believe it is illegal to have American coffee in Italy.

Nero and Sons built the current roads in Rome out of cobblestones. Not nice smooth cobblestones like we have but little pointed ones that that poke you in the arch of your foot like walking on top of a picket fence, if you have soft shoes. If you have hard soled shoes it’s like walking across a room full of big marbles. They have no lanes marked off in the roads, so the cars-- which are about the size of those bumper cars you used to see at the state fair years ago—just wander nilly wily all over the road at very fast speeds blowing their horns ever few feet and waving their hands. If there were lanes marked, that would change in a hurry because restaurant owners seem to own at least two lanes of the street, in front of their establishments, and they fill them with tables and chairs for patio eating. So all of the traffic goes from four lanes to two lanes and then back to four again and then they repeat the process in the next block and sometimes more than once in any one block.

Nothing that Rome ever built for the last three thousand years has ever been torn down or removed. They just build around it or over it. If you are in an apartment in Rome, there is good chance, if you went to the basement and stated digging, you would find bones and chariot wheels, or the mother of all finds— Caesars sarcophagus full of old wine bottles. If you are Catholic and want to go to a church in Rome simply make a right turn and walk in. There is literally a church in every block. If you are protestant or Jewish, I can’t be of any help. After walking around about twenty square miles of Rome--scusi me—thirty square kilometers of Rome--I did not see any other kind of church. Despite all of this I fell in love with the eternal city and it’s people. For now, arrivederci my friends.

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