ABOUT MINNESOTA

 I wanted to write a few things about this great state we live in so I gathered up some things, mostly off the Internet and put them together in this little essay. I hope you enjoy

I saw a sign this morning that said “Minnesota. Come for the culture. Stay because your car won’t start.” Although there are many good things about this state, January does bring out the skeptics. My father said, “It was warm enough here to survive and cold enough here to keep out the rif raf. Not sure who he meant by that but he was a die hard Minnesotan. Most Minnesotans are bilingual so they are not stupid. They talk English and they talk Minnesotan. It is a language where the words “bedder nut” mean better not. Where we have a “bat tree” in our car and the word “Alla” is not religious in nature but it is the contraction for the words, all of the. The words the “boat–a-yuz” refers to both of you. If someone says “uff da” it means it sucks. Yes it’s a language unto itself.

This is a copy of the Ten Commandments Minnesotan style.

1 Der’s only one God, you know.

2 Don’t make that fish on your vall an idol.

3 Cussing ain’t Minnesota nice you know.

4 Go to church even when you’re up nort.

5 Honor your folks.

6 Don’t cha kill. Catch and release.

7 There is only one Lena for one Ole. No cheatin.

8 If it ain’t your lutefisk don’t take it.

9 Don’t be braggen about how much snow you shoveled.           

10 Keep your mind of your neighbor’s hotdish.

Minnesota is the home base for Lutran Airlines, which flies out of Dulut. There is no food served in flight but they do have a potluck dinner. Everybody in the first six rows brings a salad. The next six rows brings the rolls and lefsa. The next six rows brings the hot dish and the last six rolls brings the desert and beverages. There is no charge for the flight you know, but they do have a free will offering and the plane will not land until they meet the budget. Sometimes the flight gets bumpy but it’s no worse than riding your John Deere tractor across a plowed field according to the pilot Mr. Swenson. Yah sure, ya betcha.

I heard a story the other day about a man who lives south of Duluth, who had his land surveyed and found out he was actually living in Wisconsin. He seemed to be very happy about finding this out. He said there was no way he could take another winter in Minnesota. Archeologists found copper wire buried in Southern California and determined that California had a wired communication system 300 years ago.  Hearing this Solu Latvia dug a big hole in his pasture south of Ely and found nothing. He determined Minnesota went wireless 400 years ago. ---Uf da.