So Mother’s day has come and gone--- at least as far as the
calendar is concerned. It troubles me that so many of us have to wait for that
day, to tell their mom’s how special they are to us. It troubles me that
success in life, as a woman, is becoming more and more every day, contingent on
what else they do in life and not the fact that first and foremost they were,
or are a mother. They almost have to apologize if that’s all they want out of
life. I want to reiterate here that my definition of motherhood is not just
giving birth to a child but it includes the nurturing Mom’s give to their
children as they progress to adulthood. I also know a lot of Mom’s have to work
and I fully recognize how difficult it must be to play both roles.
When I was four my mother left my father, my brother and
myself. For a couple of years an aunt raised me and my brother lived with
family friends, as my dad was working for his country. My dad did remarry after
the war and I had a wonderful stepmother. She saw to it I was fed and clothed
and went to Sunday school. She was never cross with me or demeaning to me or
compared me to my step brothers and sisters, I didn’t even find out she wasn’t
my mother until much later in my young life. Yes I owe her a huge thanks but through
no fault of her own, it wasn’t the same although she deserves an A-plus in
heaven for the effort
It wasn’t until I married when I saw how a real mother acts.
I used to see my wife rocking our children to sleep and reading them bedtime
stories. Telling them how proud she was when they did well and correcting them
when that was necessary. Sitting up all night with them when they were sick and
taking them shopping for cool clothes for school. Always making sure they were
clean and fed. It was something I hadn’t seen before in our house, when I was a
kid anyway. I’m not here to chastise my stepmother. As I grew older I often
thought how difficult it must have been, to raise someone else’s kids. But all
the same I was never hugged or told that I was loved. No one came to my
ballgames and if I was bad no one seemed to care about that either. If I missed
supper, no one would make an effort to get me something to eat or even cared
where I was. I was pretty much on my own. My dad worked night and day to make a
living and I’m not using that as a reason to excuse him. The day I married he
broke down and cried. The first time that I ever saw him cry and he told me he
was sorry for the life he had given me.
Growing up I wasn’t blind to the world around me and I saw
how real Mom’s treated their kids and it hurt to know that wasn’t in the cards
for me. I guess today that’s why I know how important Mom’s are in our lives.
When my wife died I felt so bad for my kids because they had lost a loving
mother. I lost my partner too but I have managed to heal that separation and
remain happy. I hope Pat is too. My kids just can’t go get another Mother. To
all of the good mom’s out there, I want to salute you and tell you maybe your
kids don’t appreciate all you do for them now-- but believe me there will come
a day when they will. To all of the step mom’s out there today. God bless you
and give you the strength to take over where the real mom’s left off. It’s got
to be one of the toughest jobs in the world. Just do your best to love them and
they will never forget you for that. To my stepmom-- I did love you.
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