This morning I followed my usual routine and made myself a
cup of coffee upon rising. Then I went out to the road to get my newspaper. On
the way, I found a small sinkhole in my driveway, so I went back to the garage
to get my shovel. I went back to the hole and repaired it and then took the
shovel back and put it away. Back in the house, after I had taken my shoes off,
I realized I forgot to get my paper. Shoes back on, I went and got my paper but
on the way back my dog was sitting by a tree barking so went to see what the
ruckus was about. After seeing that it was a porcupine in the tree I set my
paper down and went to get the dogs leash and took her back to the house. Took
my shoes off and realized my paper was still down by the tree. Shoes back on I
went and got my paper and finally made it in the house. Coffee was cold so I
put it in the microwave. Went to the bathroom and came back out to the kitchen
to get coffee and discovered I had set microwave for ten minutes instead of one
minute and coffee all boiled away. Soaked up the mess in the microwave with an
old towel and put the towel out on the back porch. Dog followed me out and went
back down to the tree with the porcupine. Back in the house to put shoes back
on to go get the dog again. When I got back to the tree my dog wasn’t there. I went back up to the house and the dog
was sitting in the porch chewing the coffee out of the towel I set outside.
Back inside I made a fresh cup of coffee and set it on the counter. Hit the cup
with the back of my hand spilling it all over my newspaper. Went back to bed.
I once observed one of my old uncles sitting in a chair
rocking slowly. I noticed he had one red sock and one black sock and asked him
if he was aware of it. He just smiled, never looking down, and told me had had
a split personality and this morning they couldn’t get together on what color
socks to wear. It wasn’t worth the argument he said, “So hence the two
different color socks.” Then he winked at me and said, “your day will come.” I
got news for you Uncle. I think it’s here.
I once cut a candy bar in half for two of my grandsons. I
didn’t quite gauge the halfway mark accurately so one piece was bigger than the
other. The older grandchild who was about eight got the bigger piece. The
younger one, who was about five then, started crying and asked me if I liked
his brother better because he got the bigger piece. I told him it had nothing
to do with it and what would he have done if he had to pass out the candy? He
told me he would have given his brother the bigger piece and kept the smaller
one for himself. I told him “You got the smaller piece so quit crying and eat
your damn candy.” Years after that I would tease him about that and he would
just smile. But he didn’t forget. A few weeks ago I was at his parents house
for a barbecue. The young man is now sixteen and when I asked him to grab me a
steak off the grill he came back with a platter of steaks and gave me the
smallest one he could find. I looked at the steak-- and then at him standing
there smiling and saying nothing—and yes I knew-- it was pay back time.
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