CORPORAL PUNISHMENT

A few days back, I was asked if my father believed in corporal punishment? I asked if that meant getting a spanking and they said “yes.” Under that definition I guess he did. For the most part I respected my dad too much, not to do what I was asked to do. But it was the things he never told me not to do-- that I did-- that got me in trouble a couple of times. His spankings were never a very painful thing but more of an embarrassment to me. He wasn’t a violent man, even when he had to spank.

I am grateful that my dad disciplined me. I think in the end it made me a better person. As a father I don’t recall ever-getting physical with my kids except to pinch their shoulders to tell them “That’s enough,” In retrospect my kids were pretty good kids but I give their mother most of the credit.

Fast-forward to today and all the buzz is on corporal punishment because some children have been severely punished, even to the point of death. The excuse that you were treated that way when you were young, sounds like something some defense lawyer dreamed up. When you’re twenty-nine years old and still believe that to be so--- you must have been living behind a rock.

Then we have the people who don’t believe in even raising their voices to their child. I was in a church the other day and the women in front of me had about a four or five year old girl who kept kicking the seat in front of her. She was told to “stop that” numerous times but she smiled at her mother and kept on doing it. In effect the child was telling her “I will do it if I want to.” Finally her father reached over and held her legs down to the seat. Then the child started crying and went to her mother for support. The father got a disgusted look from his wife for making the girl cry. Right then and there that child found out how to play her parents against each other. I’m sure that won’t be the last time she uses that tactic.

Grand parents are also on the outside looking in. My wife used to go shopping with our grandkids and their mother. The kids ran wild in the store. When my wife tried to intervene she was told, ‘if the kids needed correction that wasn’t her job. “ When my wife said, “Someone needed to correct the kids” she was told “kids will be kids.” I think the mother knew the same Lawyer I talked about earlier. My wife had no choice but to quit shopping with her when the kids were along.

I have known people who could freeze their kids in their tracks when they said “no” or “stop that.” To me that’s a sign that somewhere along the line, respect for their authority, was established. I don’t believe in hitting your kids anywhere but on the butt and then only with an open hand and then when all else has failed. If it’s done right and only when verbiage fails, you won’t have to do it very often. Respect for your parents or a guardian is the first lesson in respect for others of authority. Teachers, coaches, grandparents, anyone who is instrumental in working with your kids. Your inability to teach your kids respect, will only hurt them in the long run. You’re not doing them any favors by trying to always be their best friend.