Wednesday, June 22, 2016

WHY I WRITE LIKE I DO

                                            

I’m not going to lie to you and say my E-mail box and mailbox are full of fan mail everyday. But occasionally I do get some mail that is encouraging and today was no exception. I received a letter from a lady that lives in another state who reads my column, because her niece sends it to her. Nothing encourages an old writer more then to know something he wrote, made someone’s day and today this ladies note made mine. I, in turn, want to thank her in this way.

When I first started writing this column way back then, I took pause because the thought that was first and foremost on my mind was, “How am I going to come up with something people want to read every week?” Now I’m going to stop myself for a moment because I fully realize that not everything I write is going to please you every week. There is just too much difference in our backgrounds and our loves and likes to be that lucky. But if I have learned anything about writing, it’s not always what you write about but how you write it that counts.

Many writers like to pound home their message, as if what they believe in is the only way to think and act. But I’ve lived enough life and changed my mind enough times, to know that a closed mind is a hostile place. So with that in mind I have often told people, who are polar opposite of what I have stated I do believe in, to convince me why I’m wrong. I want to be right as much as possible but not at the expense of being stubborn and short sighted. And if we can’t find common ground—well let’s part as friends with different views who still respect each other.

I have a dear friend in my life, who has a lot of different views on subjects that I find I just can’t compromise that much on. But as time has gone on, through listening, I have learned to respect her so much and in some cases I have found validity in some of her views and I believe in turn she has in some of mine. In effect, by listening to each other, we have helped each other; find that common ground, we both love to be at. Her agreeing with me or I agreeing with her is not a prerequisite for our relationship. But loving and respecting each other and our views is.

We have different political parties in this country and we have different religions in this world. In order to coexist peacefully we need to be tolerant of other people’s views. Notice I said tolerant and not necessarily accepting. What you believe in is what you believe in and the rules this country was set up with, allow you to do just that. But there comes a time when the path we have to trod is to narrow for both of us and it’s then that we need to seek compromise because it will be the only way forward for both of us. This may sound like a wishy, washy way of doing business but it beats “my way or the highway” every time. Because as long as there is pride and self respect. Egos and self worth then we have to have some way to make concessions that preserve all of the above. My grandparents were married for over sixty years and what made that marriage work so well, was this uncanny ability they had, to listen to each other through love and respect. I know this works and that is why I write about it all the time.-- Thank you Cozy.





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