When I was a young man and just going out into the world, my father gave me a little plaque. A the top of it was written in bold letters our family name “Holst.” Underneath that was a verse that said in part. “You got it from your father. It was all he had to give. So it’s yours to use and cherish, for as long as you may live. If you lose the watch he gave you it can always be replaced. But a black mark on your name can never be erased. It was clean the day you took it and a worthy name to bear. When he got it from his father, there was no dishonor there. So make sure you guard it wisely. After all is said and done. You will be glad the name is spotless, when you give it to your son.”
I have often thought about the message that was there on that tiny plaque and today, it hangs on the wall in my office where I see it often. My grandfather and my father never did anything to tarnish our family name in their lifetimes. I haven’t either but then I’m not done living, am I, so I need to keep working on that. So does my son, his sons and my siblings. My father was a poor man but a proud man. He held in high regard the principals his father had given him. He never had all of the gray areas to deal with that we are subjected to now days in our society, when it comes to morals and behavior. Most of his beliefs and ideals were either right or wrong and most of them were based on his strong Christian faith.
I tend to believe as my father believed but I have to admit it becomes harder and harder to do it. So much of what we once believed to be wrong, has morphed into either right or mildly objectionable. So not only have things changed, but also you can be told you’re wrong to believe the way my parents raised me to believe. I have been told and I have seen others being told, that very thing. My father has been dead for twenty years, yet he still influences my life and my actions even today. Call it pride, call it self-respect, call it what you want too it’s a hard thing to rid your conscience of, when you go against it. To use a modern term, it is my default setting and sometimes when I get too far out of whack, I simply have to reboot and go back.
I once had to go to court to vouch for my kid brother who had done something bad. I went to beg the court for leniency for him because I knew-- and my brother knew-- what he had done was so wrong and he had hurt people. He was an alcoholic and drunk when he did it but that’s not an excuse, it’s just a reason and there is a difference. To my knowledge my father never knew about this act. My brother made restitution to all the people he hurt, was forgiven and to the best of my knowledge never strayed again. He’s gone now too, like our dad and I hope somewhere they did meet again. I know dad would have been proud of him for ending it well.
It is my hope and my prayer that I never tarnish our family name. I know now that if I do, I ruin it for generations to come. No one wants to be affiliated with someone who has done that. I’m not here to judge others and this is not some sanctimonious rant about me. I just meant to share what honesty and integrity meant to my family back then and what it means to me today.
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