I watched an hour long show on televisions the other night
on nutrition and it seemed to be so ironic, that some of the foods they are now
telling you not to eat, were the same ones they were touting as healthy for you
ten years ago. They got into trans fats and saturated fats and gluten free and
sugar free and when it was all over, if I was to take them seriously, I might
just as well have dumped my cupboards out and sat down the floor and sucked on
a celery stalk and waited to die. It makes no sense to me to eat greens when
the beef that is so full of fat was raised on greens.
I want to share
what I had made for supper yesterday. My homemade bean and ham soup and how bad
or good it must be for me. At Christmas we had a ham for supper so I had taken
the left over meat and the bone and made homemade bean and ham soup. It has
carrots, celery and onions along with the navy beans. It was my usual recipe, except my friend Al told me to put
in a spoon full of baking soda to kill the farts. It doesn’t make it any
healthier or tastier; it just makes you more socially accepted the next day. It
does nothing for the taste, so feel free to leave it out if you enjoy that sort
of thing. Sorry, no pulling the
finger from me today kids.
The beans in my soup are high in fiber, protein and
antioxidants whatever that is. So that’s got to be good right. We hate those
dang oxidants. My 8th grade science teacher taught me, that
oxidizing was another word for rust. Bad enough the car rusts, we don’t need
the old body rusting. The carrots are high in carotenoid’s and my, doesn’t that
sound healthy? Even if Bugs Bunny stutters a lot he’s one healthy rabbit and
that’s good enough for me. He’s older then most of us. There were onions in the
soup and everybody knows onions are just essential to most cooking. Onions have
phosphorous, copper and potassium in them and by the way, none of that stuff
rusts. Then there was celery. Not sure if celery is a food or not but it was
left over and I wanted to get rid of it. Now bean soup needs lots of salt and
that’s bad I guess, but people who would eat bean soup without salt would
probably be just as delighted with a bowl of snow. Warmed up of course
But-- then there was that dreaded ham, all full of nitrates
and carcinogens, fat and salt. Probably double smoked in some dirty old shed
using turkey dung for fuel. That hog probably ate slop from grocery store
dumpsters and everybody knows that slop was full of cigarette butts and rodent
poop, swept off the sidewalk in front of the store. That the guy who lives
behind the grocery store dumped his used antifreeze in there along with some
dirty diapers. But how can you have ham and bean soup without ham? You can’t.
Who knew there was that much flavor from a dumpster? So you win a few, you lose
a few.
Now here is another good eating tip. Don’t eat bread with
your soup. Bread turns to starch and starch turns to sugar and sugar turns to
alcohol. You have a sandwich before bed-- and bingo.—You wake up with a
hangover. Who knew?
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