FATHERS DAY

                                                

Last Sunday was Father’s Day, and as I thought about what to write to honor our dads, I wanted it to be something different than I usually write. I didn’t want to write about my dad, or my grandpa, as deserving as that would have been. I fully realize that many of you also had a great dad like I had, and your memory bank is full of fond memories of him. For some of our younger people, you are still reaping the benefits of a loving father. You know now how much that man means to you. Sadly, for some of us, instead of “we know now what he means to us,” it’s “what he meant” to us. But I wanted to also write to all of the people who, as they were growing up, never had a dad in their lives—because I know you could tell us better than anyone what it was you missed the most. I want to write about it today, because I believe “missing fathers” is a part of the problem in our society today.

What is a good dad made of, and what is it that you, as an absent father, missed out on by not being there? Then there are those who, as a father, couldn’t be there through no fault of their own, and what did you both miss out on? I’m not here to cast any stones or make any judgments. I’m just here to paint a picture of what I believe a father’s role is in the family, and why it’s so important to both of you.

We come into life, virtually, as blank slates. From the day we are born until adulthood, our dads play such an important part in our development. All too often we think of dad as the breadwinner and the protector in the family, and that may have been true many years ago, but roles have changed so much, and in a lot of families it’s just not true anymore. My mom never worked outside of the home and my dad worked from sunup to sundown to provide for his large family. This role gave us, his kids, very little time with him as he was largely busy. Somehow though, as hard as it was for him, he made time. For us kids, it was almost a competition for Dad’s attention.

Fast forward to today with many moms working, and dads have had to learn how to brush out a little girl’s hair and make a ponytail; balance two kids in his lap, and read them a bedtime story; make macaroni and cheese for supper, and take three kids, in their pajamas, to the Dairy Queen to keep a promise. Or just sit and hold a colicky baby that cries every time you lay her down. It seems that the line we had in the sand between mom’s roles, and dad’s roles, has been largely erased. But, in a way, that is good. For you see, from the time she and you made the decision to have a family, you made a commitment, not only to the child but to each other, to be there for your kids. Eighteen years is not a long time and that’s about all the time you get to make your mark with that child. Not only to provide for them and nourish them, but also to teach them the things only a parent can teach a child. Things that come sprinkled with the love only a parent can give. Life is filled with many precious moments, but believe me, none are so special as the time you have with your kids.

Think back to a time when you rocked your infant child to sleep. As you held him/her in your arms, you looked down at them sleeping, and for a brief moment, nothing could be more serene than that picture lying in front of you. All your hopes and dreams lay there, wrapped up in that tiny child. You knew, then and there, what a father’s purpose in life really was.